英文简历：不应有的幽默

不应有的幽默

"Note: Keep this resume on top of the stack. Use all others to heat your house."

"Assisted in daily preparation of large quantities of consumable items in a fast-paced setting." (Translation: Short-order cook.)

"But e''s more. You get all this business knowledge plus a grasp of marketing that is second nature."

"I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."

"My fortune cookie said, ''Your next interview will result in a job''-and I like your company in particular."

"Title: Another resume from the ''Profiles in Excellence'' series."

"Also Known As: Mr. Productivity, Mr. Clever, -it."

"Trustworthy references available upon request-if I give them a few bucks."

"Let''s meet so you can ''ooh'' and ''ahh'' over my experience."